My Military Experience...True To Life... No Kiddin'

24 February 2009

The day I feared the most. Worst day in my life (P/S. I hope there will be no other days worse than this). Sorry to mum, it's my bad. My bad to put myself into the fire and brimstone of HELL...

Yeah, top ten shabbiest refungee camp, opened at the sides, flood during rains and not protected against wildlifes and peeping Tom. Not recommended for thanatophobics.

Oh yes, this was the refungee camp I had to sleep for two nights! Sleeping with some hot girls in a fucking disgusting camp. And even worse, I got to be alert of some bloody leeches that might creep into our feet. What an adventurous HELL SURVIVOR GAME!

Anyway, the first day of my military tour was way better than the remaining days. Ah, man! The activities are for kids! BORING Nope, it's freaking boring! Oh, my three other schoolmates and I arrived early at two, just right after our school sport day at IKBN, and there i took some pic with my dearest teacher, in case i miss home too much...

Having the last Biology lesson, we actually really did learn of ways to prevent leeches.

I was hugging two Indian hot chicks and they were consoling me before i went to the camp.
Ah, finally, when the clock strikes three, there came the head of the fussy-litator, whom name I'd already forgotten, or perhaps, i didn't even know his name. All I know is he was a man. Shit! I didn't snap his pic. The commandant was glancing at me, so I got to keep my beloved phone before I lost it.

This guy is the one who tortured me. He's a sadist. Be wary if you see him in the streets!

Yeah, a brief introduction to the commandant. He is a Sargeant, I think. Sorry, a hoodlum like me won't pay much attention to what you say. Okay, what was so interesting about him was that he was wearing the soldier pants all day. It reminds me of those small kids who take up soldier trends and wear like soldiers. Nevermind. And, he had a good throat, but a bad voice. P/S. He could shout better than most hard metal singers! And you know what, if i stayed few days longer, I could be better than The Chemical Romance, lol!

Ah, almost forgot, there was another fussy-litator. He was a little short, a little bald. I didn't remember his name too. Ah, who cares! I am not gonna live with them forever. Perhaps, i would forget them in one or two months time. But i have a feeling that i will remember what i had been through in this camp.

Ok! Cut the crap! The first command from these people was to eat! And you guess what. People who went the camp did not get thinner, instead, they gained weigh. The food there is freaking disgusting! Oh, i will explain that further later.

Okay! Eat! And so I will go! Eat! That's what you said right! I will dance to your freaking tune! EAT! Ok! So there we went and had our place. Oh, yeah, i met a boy there! Don't worry, my boyfriend. I am not hitting on him. He's a bit sissy for the manly me. Only you, baby, only you!

In all honesty, the canteen was pretty clean. Maybe because no one was using it. It was better than my school canteen. No offense, Mrs Principal. I already told ya 'bout this, but since it's your school, so I won't bother. The first day, we had some prawn cake. Description: Yellowish piece of mudlike cake with prawn shells and heads. Err... it was not so disgusting. So i took a little. I was kinda hungry so i had to eat.

Opps, after the meal, if i had not mistaken, we were separated into few groups and each group was placed in each camp. Refer to Figure 1.1. It was kinda lucky that i got into the same camp as my friends, Jolene and Samantha. And Jolene was made the leader of the camp. After that, we had another group breaking session. And this time i was placed into a group of strangers. And I really hate my group. Nothing, I just hate it. Cannot ah?

Many programmes were cancelled that day because of improper management and maybe raining season. But i still put the blame on the management. Because they should have checked the weather forecast before organising this camp! NEED ORDERS FOR THAT ONE ALSO AH, VETERANS?

Yeahlah, i hate it! They cancelled the most exciting part of the entire camp- The Night Walk! I thought of meeting some handsome vampires or something. Shit! Spoiled my whole plan! Instead, we were placed in the podium for some boring lecture and what we did that night was singing some tribal nerd songs and comforting each other as though it was the end of the world.

My God! Ah, but a better discovery! I found something freaking ridiculous! Aha! Mr Commandant, i really can't believe you watch those nerdy kid-like cartoons named Wonderpets and so you like their chant so much. Please, grow up, grow up.

That day, we slept only at twelve midnight, but what an amazement that i was totally awake that day. I didnt even feel a little drowsy. My eyes kept watching for the exit and some chicks. I really missed my mum and dad at the time. And i missed my concrete jungle. And yes, the thing i missed the most was normal conversation, not some humanless robotic speech that i didn't even know how to speak.

And at night, we had supper at the canteen and what we had was groundnut soup and chocolate malt. Description about the groundnut soup: yellowish pot of mudlike gravy with not medium cooked groudnutsand oil accumulated and floating on the surface of the soup. I think they did not have enough time to cook the soup properly so they just poured into the wok and got everything fried.

And the tea! It was so called the English Breakfast Tea and what the people call Tea-O. And wallow eh! It was really, really suitable for those people who have low blood glucose and I can gurantee with my life that if they stay there for a whole month, they will get diabetes. Because the tea was really damn freaking insanely sweet. It was like drinking concentrated glucose solution!

"I need you all to go into your camps and sleep in fifteen minutes!" the commandant commanded us. And just then, we flew as fast as our tired feet could carry us back into our camps, got prepared for the night.

Oh, yes, you reminded me about the lavatories. It was haunted-like. I don't know about the gents, but the ladies was fucking disgusting. Stench could be smelt at the door. I am not exegerrating. Ask yourself, but if you were that kind who fond of methane gases, you should go and sniff it somemore! The center of the bathroom was a pool of bath water, which they said came from the waterfall. It was brown in colour and i could not even see the bottom of the pool. But I knew it was just mud, just mud.

You want me to bath with that? No way! Really, those days i only bathed with the sanitiser and wet tissues i brought from my home.

25 February 2009

The second day and there they showed their real military attitude! Early in the morning, before even the first sight of day was seen, before the first rooster even crowed (P/S. I really saw rooster there), we were already in the bailey where we had to do what so called the aerobic dance. It was kinda relaxing. That fussy-litator was kinda kind and perhaps he was the only man who did not use his throat in all his might. And finally at that moment of time, I got to rest my ears.

And then, we got the command to eat again. If I had not mistaken, we they had fried noodle for breakfast. I really hate that kind of noodle so I did not take, but just had the chicken essence I brought from home.

Talking about the drinks will really get everyone's stomach twisted. Remember yesterday, I told ya about the high glucose concentration tea, but this one was worse... Err, today we had some kind of chocolate malt but it tasted as though it was made using unboiled water or perhaps, the waterfall water. And guess what, the chocolate malt had the taste of the tea we had yesterday. PUKE!

After the meal, we were separated into groups and were given our own task or what so called mission. Our group, and if i had not mistaken, group five were to go for jungle trekking leaded by the commandant himself and a few other fussy-litators. Ha! Ha! Pity Jolene and Samantha!

Their group were going to have canoeing and water activities or what I called the Niagara Mud Bath. And guess what, their actually white shirt and socks became yellow after the game. I am really curious about what their mothers comment about it. Pity the womenfolk. And perhaps, the detergent company may use this idea for advertising. I did not know much about that, so I don't wanna create my own stories. Well, everything here was true to life. And I am the victim.

The jungle trekking was one of the best activities. At least, i could get rid of the commandant's voice for a little while. But we were given a task, somesort like a survivor instant noodle cooking or something like cooking instant noodle in the jungle. Before that, we were again separated into a group of four and every group had to cook instant noodle in the jungle we were going to hike later.

And these were the apparatus supplied for us:

Two cubes of what so called the soldiers' candle or wax (P/S. The commandant called it starter, but i called it a cube of white wax)

A green-special soldiers' raincoat (I don't know what's called but I think it's bulletproof or something)

Four metal cooking containers with handles (They were like the trays for baking shortcakes and I also don't know what they were called)

Two eggs

A plate (the standard one, made of plastic)

Two cups ( standard cups made of plastic)

A packet of Maggi Curry Flavour Instant Noodle

I think that's all

And there we started our journey up, up to the jungle after we had packed all the stuffs we needed to bring up. The commandant led the way, as he usually did and few other fussy-litators walked among the us. It was just after the rain and guess what, these kind of weather was when the leeches haunt. And I could hear screams and shrieks along the way. This jungle was kinda hard to hike, but anyway, the commandant mentioned that the government is going to clear the forest for some sort of project. But anyway, I felt that the jungle that i trekked three years ago at the Prefect Leadership Camp was better. At least, the route was not so steep.

And finally, we arrived to the summit of the jungle and here was where we had to start our cooking lesson. The only water source was the waterfall. And guess what, we had to use the mud to wash the cooking utensils after using it. Oh, that's really going green! I think I should put this in my Going Green blog later or suggest the motherfolks to use mud, but I am sure that they will murder me for scratching their thousand-dollar frying pan.

Ah, cooking in the jungle really disgusted me, but anyway this can train us to live in adversity like an alien invasion or zombie attack stuff. At least, we will not die of starvation, but I'm not sure about cholera, typhoid, shigella, polio, meningitis, and hepatitis A and E, for you know, the water... from waterfall, where the monkeys pee or the crocodiles swim. Lucky I only ate a little bit of the noodle. And came home taking three doses of antibiotic injection. (Just kidding)

And the way down the jungle was the best part. Remember I told ya I met a boy there? A little sissy one? He was walking behind me at the time. And you know what, there was a log in the middle of the path and that was the only way we could use. The log was spiny and the ground over it was very steep and muddy and slippery. But I summoned up my nerves, kissing the lucky amulet my mother gave me, saying 'I love you' to all of my friends in my heart. And so I stepped on the log and jumped over it! Thanks Lord! I am a survivor! My heart is still beating. Hah!

Just then, I heard fretting and complaining sounds behind me and as I looked around, my eyes rested on the boy that I met. He was a little shaky, hesitating if he should jump. So, the manly, macho me, stretched and gave him my hand, and he took my hand and jumped over. Bravo! Bravo! Our hero, Candice! May I get your signature, please?

After a while, the boy thought that I was walking too slow, as it was a slippery slope, and he passed me and so I let him be. Just at the moment, the sixth form girl who was walking in front of me slipped and fell and she pulled the boy's pants while he had one of his hand clinging on a tree and another holding his pants, shouting to beg the girl to let him go. A group of boys who walked behind me and me myself who witnessed the great show burst into laughter.

Then, he helped the girl and held her hand as they walked down. And the boys behind me jeered at him. Cheh! What? Acting like hero now? Don't you remember I helped you jumping through the log? Guys...guys...

After about an hour or more, we finally returned to our campsite. Thank God. Nobody was injured, but some got leech-biten. Even the fussy-litator himself. When he took off his shoe, I saw his sock stained in red and soaked in blood. When he removed it, I witnessed blood pouring out furiously of his wound. Yucky! The commandant showed us some leaves, which I did not remember what it was called and told those who got leech-biten to rub it on the wounds. Eeow...holy shit! Imagine rubbing some raw leaves on your wound. Squeezing and forcing the blood out of the skin. I hope that it won't laecerate the skin too...

And while we were waiting for the other groups to return, we assembled in the bailey and the commandant gave us some harangue before we were told to march. It was the rehearsal for tomorrow's formal march, whatever you wanna call it. It was freaking horrible. The commandant was such a sadist! Even worse than me! He told us to count from the right to the left. So, when everytime there was a fault, he would ask us to do push-ups or bumping, or whatever you wanna call it. And then, if he was discontented, he would ask us to count the f*ck up while in the position of pushing-up.

And then, meal again. This time was better. The first time I saw rice in the menu. They had very diluted curry chicken and meatless fish, or perhaps, fish bone delight, ha ha! Nevertheless, I didn't eat. I lost my appetite. Just don't know why. I wasn't hungry the whole day. Hey, I am not that picky in food, you know. At the time, I really missed home so, so, so much. I miss all of my teachers and friends and of course, my tortoise, Torquiose LeCandice. And the thing I really, really miss was the normal conversation, not those robotic, feeling-less commands!

And for the drinks, ha ha! They served very diluted sarsi, gasless and tasted like it had been added water in it. And, for additional favour, it tasted like sarsi + tea + chocolate maltt. PUKE! You got what I mean? Do they really going that green?

Alright, I am sick of those 'fruit punch', so I went to get some sky juice. Anyway, I am not that kind that like colourings in my drinks. And so there was sky juice. And I did not expect them to be so 'sterile'. You don't understand? The sky juice tasted like the first aid kid. No exegerating! It's true! It tasted like the antibiotic! Ah, man! What's life? Can't they don't put any additional item in normal things?

Later at night was the what so called Cultural Night when we were all supposed to wear our traditional clothes. And so Jolene and I wore and the other girl from another school was wearing too. And when we reached the podium, the fussy-litator said that we were wearing so exposing! Expose your head! That's our traditional clothes lah! What else you want? If wear, say sexy, if don't wear, push-ups! Go e** s***!

And then, what happened next really raised my anger over the boiling point! The commandant complained that his patience was exhausted because we did not wait for the others while eating, did not pray, taking too much food, eating too fast...etc and so he asked us condemned us to kneel down and sing some ar*ehole apologizing song! Holy f***ing shit! That was the only meal I had taken on the whole f***ing day and I got to kneel down saying sorry. Really make me wanna say, "I C U C I C U!"

And so, alright! Nevermind, since you think that what I did cause you so much pain. Now, I am home and I wrote this song.

Enjoy it.

As time goes on (Oh, yeah, move faster!)
I started to learn more and more about responsibilty (Even not mine...)
And I know everything I do was affecting the people around me
So I wanna take this time out
To apologize for things I have done

The things that haven't occur yet
The things that THEY don't wanna take responsibility for

Sorry for the time that I left you home

I was on the road while you were marching
Sorry for the time that I had to go
Sorry for the step that I did not care
That you were marching here just wishing we
Go back to canteen was issue and need
Sorry for the time that I would neglect
Sorry for the time that I did not wait
Sorry for the wrong steps that I took
Sorry I'm not always there for anyone
Sorry for the facts that I'm not aware
You can sleep at night when I had not left
Because I'm in the street like everyday
Sorry for the thing that I did not say

Like how you're the BEST thing in my world
How I'm so PROUD to call YOU my SIR!

I understand that there's some problem
And I'm not too blind to know
All the things you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then, it's just the shame on me (WHAT YOU CARE?)

I be the reason for your blame
And you can put your blame on me
You can put your blame on me X4

Say you can put your blame on me X4

Sorry for the pain that I put you thru (I ALMOST STARVE YOU TO DEATH)
All the time I did not care what to do
Sorry that you have to go and lose all your fat (LUCKY YOU GOT ENOUGH)
Just trying to stay in visitor you heard from there
You could get me home without your kit

The one big family that love and kiss
Even though that's what they say
I got a second slice and you didn't agree
I got up and left you there all alone
Sorry that you have to eat it all your own
Sorry that i said it adding to your weight
Sorry that your son was once a thief
Sorry that I ate it way too fast
Wish I would leave it
And I be so bad
Sorry that your waist turned out this way

Sorry that the food came and took me away
I understand that there's some problem
And I'm not too blind to know
All the things you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then, it's just the shame on me (WHAT YOU CARE?)

I be the reason for your pain
And you can put your blame on me (PUT WHATEVER YOU WANT)
You can put your blame on me X4
Say you can put your blame on me X4

Sorry that I took so long to say

The thing they did wrong trying put it on me
Sorry that I took so long to sleep

I was in the life like Gwen Stefani
Sorry for the pain that you would feel
Sorry for the starvation that you feel
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her round that young
Sorry for the camp they did not shut down
I hope the manage better next time around
I was up to know it was underweight
Only two for one and no extra they say
Why doesn't anybody wanna tell me

For rising bad doubt this place in my name
I am just an author try to entertain
Cause lots of my friends will take that blame
Even though they blame you X3
I will take the blame from you...

26 February 2009
Finally, near to escape! Near to freedom! Near to normality! My alarm rang sharp at five thirty in the morning and the song of The Sweet Escape played in the air woke me up. I quickly reached my phone in the bag and turned it off! Yahoo! It was morning and only few hours left!

And after that, I am a free man! Free! Free from torture! Free from commands! And when the morning was still so young and sweet, we had our aerobic session at the bailey. And after that, we had some social work to do. Yeah, clearing up the mess. That was kinda good because we finally could do something without people nagging around, shouting into your ears about what to do even though you had done it for million times.

And so the most dreadful time had arrived- the arrival of the REPRESENTATIVE of a ministry, whom I did not wanna mention, in case I insulted him and he would get me into the NS, but it's okay if you count me in. I can always escape and write new stories about it. Ha Ha! The pen is mightier than the sword... And you know what, we had to burn under the strange cruelty of the sun when the man gave his speech. Thanks mum for the sunscreen she gave me. I used up the whole tube and luckily my beautician said that I did not get sunburnt but just a little change in skin colour.

The people in the lines were falling one by one, and guess what, the representative did not even rest his eyes on them, not even for a second, or a moment! Not once! When he walked to the canteen, he just went by without as though we were transparent or something. Pity those girls who fainted. Next time, you got to make it more dramastic.

Finally, after thirty-eight hours in HELL, we were announced to be free! Yahoo! Thanks, thanks, thanks God! My feeling was like a prisoner who just got parolled or like a bird that escaped from its cage! Call me a stubborn but I don't care! When I saw my teacher's car turning into the campsite, I felt as though I saw an angel coming to save me from the torment of Hell! I miss you all, baby! I miss all of you! Finally, I won freedom! Finally, I am safe! I am now in cloud nine hundred, ninety-nine!!!

Peace! Peace! No WAR! Look at their faces. So sad and so gloomy. Don't want war! Say 'No'

to war! No! NO WAR!

Asking for war-free zone in this world- PLease! No war! Peace

Oi! What is this! Pulling like that in the public! Not polite at all... cheh!

People say that i haven changed my habit, and still remains an egotist! Hey, where got? Seriously, I really changed a lot, a lot after the camp! And one of the big changes is that I have recruited into a mafia! Coz mafia no marching!


This pic I took at the podium, high up at my bird! Look at me! Still standing high up here! Still alive and kickin'!

Well, okay this is unrelated with the camp. This was the second time I went there. And for a tribal cooking competition. Brief story, we made a great meal and our group got the fifth place out of ten... among about twenty schools... Cheh, I'm not ERT studen, you know.